You think you hate humanity? Think again…Because I am humanity. (I know.)

by natashanelsonart

I walked into the room damp, clammy and awkward…full of angst.
I am so much better. So, so much better.
No matter how much they say “be humble and face your humility”.
I am special.
Untouchable and free. Kissing myself ready to fuck myself.
OH. If I could be with my own self…my own humility…moving on.
Hard surface killing me softly. Abusing my flesh and bone, for it is not used to such uninvited torment.
I embrace it. It reminds me of something so familiar. Unhealthy and in control…moving on.
Red bull. Gross, I smell it. Memories enhanced but left unremembered for the lack of vodka. Candy coats the floor.
Shaking puppies and sad souls. I do feel sorry for them all, and myself. I am here after all.
That is what makes me better. Stronger. A heroine.
Oh my god.
I turn myself on.
I am needed and used. So old and boring but deficient in something…the allure that I sense within my own self.
Moving. On.
Tense and rigid. Prematurely placed in this position I will not cry.
My thrills are gone. Used up and departed…too bad. Thrills are what fuel me and set me free.
I am the thrill.
I am the crutch to what humanity seeks.
Humility? Not quite.
I am just getting ahead of myself…let alone started.
I don’t even make sense.
Moving on.
I need to freak out. Freak. The fuck. Out. Like I like. Like I am comfortable with. Like what makes me the desirable, edible flesh that chasers seek.
Get over yourself, get on yourself. Touch yourself.
I dance for myself, my own puppet, and it turns me on only because I know of it’s capability.
Mesmerizing and a total front.
Jesus Christ, these people. Just decompose and leave this world already.
Seriously, my brain.
Moving on.
I must move on or I will build up hate, a lifeless, limp ego. I just want to play.
I don’t need this. The others need this. They need me. To be apart of it. Of them. Hope. I can accept that. It’s just so curious and unfamiliar…At the same time so sad and unguided.
I see it. I smell it and feel it. I feel me. I smell and see me in them all.
The difference?
I’m a beast.
As Britney says:
Let’s make a team, make ‘em say my name.
I’m not religious but…Thank God for pop music.

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