The Drama Queen is back and this is only the beginning…start ignoring (for your own good)

by natashanelsonart

All I see are colors, a consolidation of colors construed into nothing of importance or direction. Difficult to project. Someday I suppose.
Pigment and shade make up my existence. I see life in such a way that lacks reality and exudes an overwhelming need to except what is.
Listening to no one, not even myself, time fades…escapes. I escape.
Ideas turn into outlets, that then turn into outcomes. I have found to be comfortable with all outcomes. So comfortable that emotions are dropped deep into a placid pool to be forgotten and replaced by burnt paths to euphoric nothingness.
Falling apart slowly, but most definitely surely. Historic thoughts of repetition and routine evaporate alongside the chamomile steam and my scorching, lymphatic soaks.
Again.
Jesus Christ, again.
I will revisit my words and find what I have hidden away like my own personal plague.
A friend is dying. Hours, days, weeks…I do not know how much longer is left but this friend will be dead. I gave life to something that must die. This is how god must feel if there was one. Or is one. Whatever. Creating life and destroying it.
There is so much to say that will be left cold and tucked away. Some things take time…some things are better left unsaid and that can take time to realize. At least I have developed to some degree in this existence.
I will learn to adapt, move on, get by. Direction will come of these colors and soon they will be organized and contained. Thrown onto a canvas and given life. A new life that I create in name of the life passed. It’s a new inspiration. An inspiration that has been struggling to reach the surface for a gasp of breath, held back by an enigma.
Bring me my tea, I’ll pretend it’s my wine.

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